Moving to a new blog

Hey Everyone, I am having problems accessing my account outside of my ipad App, so if you want to continue to follow me, I am moving my blog to: and it is titled- Writing His Call

If I am able to get this back up and running, I may keep this for poetry. But in the mean time come over to my new blog!

See ya there!

unfiltered grace part 1

I have been avoiding the Grace controversy for sometime now. Mostly because I tend to avoid things that are controversial. But another reason is because I don’t believe, Grace, in of itself, is controversial at all. But as with anything, well, anything can be made controversial.

Several years ago a band wrote a song about this very thing. The band was This Beautiful Republic, the title of the song, a point between extremes.

The song is about our Christian walk and how it appears to have extremes. The lyrics from the song that highlight what scares some people about Grace is in this line:

I’ve been thinking about
the paths my life has gone down
I’ve pushed a crown of thorns in my brow
To show my salvation worked out
with all the knowledge I have learned
Anchored to righteousness I’d earned
And now I’ve gone the other way
Depended too heavily on Grace
I need a reprieve
A point between extremes

The band which is pretty good, check em out if you like Christian rock. However, they have since retired.

But this fear of Grace, the search for finding the point between extremes, has not retired. In fact, it has only heightened in recent years. Heightened because of something called hyper-grace.

Now I have not studied the hyper-grace movement, read a single book about it, or read a book by one of these controversial authors. However, I don’t doubt that it exists, those taking Grace for granted or too far, but what I want to talk about is pure, unadulterated Grace.

Lets have a discussion in a vacuum, shall we? Because we were never meant to have the world or a movement interpret scripture. Rather, scripture interprets scripture.

But to take a step back, if I haven’t read up much on this, why am I even talking about it. Why does all this Grace talk have me thinking so much.

Remember that song I just mentioned, titled, a point between extremes? Well I was on one of those extremes and looking back, I have been on this extreme nearly all of my Christian life.

You see, I have a tendency to not rest in God’s Grace. My mind races, I am anxious. I worry about what people think about me. How did I just sound when I said that? Did I make them laugh? Did they get my joke? What does God think of me? I feel condemned more that I should. I feel unworthy. How could I possibly do anything good for God? How can He use me? I am worthless.

This recent discussion of Grace and longing for a pure and true view of Grace, has allowed me to see what Grace really is. Who I really am in Christ. Grace has freed me from that. I don’t have to be perfect. I can get back up, I don’t need to worry that God will throw me out, because Grace has rescued my anxious heart.

You know Grace came for people who were stuck in sin and with no way out. Who did Jesus talk to during his ministry? Overwhelmingly, adulterers, tax collectors (who were known to take more than they should), the sick, the ill, the dying. He came for those who needed Grace. Not those who use Grace.

Some people have told me stories of people they know who stubornly continue in actions that are hurtful and or draw them away from God. Yet, when people try to help them or talk to them about it, they say they know it’s wrong, but they are covered by Grace. Don’t you worry about me, Grace will take care of it, they say.

I think what scares most who fear the extremes of Grace is a feeling that Grace’s meaning is being slandered. They fear that people will take advantage of it. Yet this is nothing new. Paul even talks about this- do I keep on sinning to highlight Gods grace, he emphaticallly says no. His desire is not to crucify Christ over and over again.

So what is all the controversy? What is hyper-grace?

I don’t know how, but I have been shielded from all the controversy. As a result, it is strange to my ears to hear Grace thrown around like a bad word.

Grace is what Jesus died to give me. This bad word, well, that’s what saved me. But the more I think about it, the more I realize, I have been getting in wrong. I tend however, as mentioned earlier, to lean more toward the legalistic side of things.

Apparently this was also a problem in Paul’s time. They had trouble staying in Grace, they went back to works look at Galatians 3.

So it seems normally the “problem” with Grace is still trying to live by works. Which somehow is much less controversial than hyper-grace.

But the more I think about God’s Grace and works and all the worries, the two extremes, the more I realize it’s more about the order of things and how we get there. The funny thing is we end up in the same place of both extremes. If we understand the foundation of Grace and Obedience, and what brings us there. The same key ingredients in the right order bring us to both grace and obedience.

What are those keys: Love and Faith.

But they can be broken down even further. Let me explain. Grace comes by Faith and Faith comes by hearing the word of God. The Word is God. So really the order of things is this way:

We hear the Word, the Good News about Jesus and how he died for us (an act of Love) and when we believe it- we enter into faith. The Faith, That faith, allows us to then enter into Grace into a relationship with our Father. Not just into Grace, but into a relationship, abudant life, salvation of body, mind and soul.

The Word also talks about, that it is impossible to please God wtihout faith and an obedience by faith. It appears faith is the new obedience.

So let’s get back to the order of things.

If we start with Grace only, we can miss out on hearing the Word that brings Faith. Hearing requires listening. Listening sometimes is hard, when we hear things we don’t want to hear. But Faith comes by hearing the Word of God.

If we try to start with Grace, we are backwards. If we live by Grace as our root, we live for Freedom from condemnation only, which we have. But it must come by faith that comes from hearing. Otherwise it’s a hollow Grace. More about what I am saved from versus who saved me and why. A loving God saved me to be in relationship with me.

When we have a Grace only diet or as our root, we are not balanced. We are deprived of the Word which is God and our relationship with Him. We are deprived of faith that is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. We miss the Love of our father, our Abba Father. Our daddy. And you know what loving daddy’s do? They lead, steer, and direct their children in the way they should go. You know what a daddy who love his kids does, he corrects them. Ooh grace and correction together. Yes, together. It’s actually because of Faith that leads to Grace, that I am in a relationship with my Father. A Father who loves me enough to tell me when I am going in the wrong direction. He loves me enough to tell me when I got something in my teeth. I am joking, but we value the people who tell us more than people who don’t tell us that we have something stuck in our teeth. We value that feedback because it means they care.

We can take it the other way and say Grace is a bad word or make Grace to be a bad thing. We can make Grace the hot potato or something to be scared about. Some people caution you of certain people because they are Grace teachers. Of course, we all are. Anyone is a Christian believes in Grace. We don’t always get the living in grace right, but we all believe it.

Yet, if we slander Grace’s name, make it a bad word, we miss out what the Word, which produces faith, brings, and that is Grace. You see when we are in the Word, when we are getting to know our Father, that time in the secret, quite place is priceless. It changes us, it breaks strong holds, it produces Faith. This faith, brings us to and keeps us in Grace. This faith balances us. This Faith, is the same faith, that is talked about in the book of Romans, of a new kind of obedience. An obedience by faith.

So, if we try to make obedience or works the root, we are missing out on what brings us to obedience, Faith from hearing the Word- the good news of Jesus. Faith that comes from a changed heart. Not a faith in us and what we can do, but a faith in Him and what he says he can do. Not just in salvation, but in living out this salvation. Faith is the new obedience. Faith results in obedience.

And once again, faith comes from hearing the Word of God. The Word is God. Not just words or rules, but a loving father who died and wants a relationship with us.

So if we start and stay only in obedience, we miss out in THE WORD, and faith. It’s all about the order.

All these pieces are needed, faith, love, the Word. God desires us to be obedient and to live in Grace. But its the order that matters.

Do we start with Grace and deprive our Spiritual diets of the Word, a relationship with our loving God, and from faith? Which ultimately results in faith obedience.

Or do we start with obedience and deprive our Spiritual diets of faith in God, a deep loving relationship with God, and ultimately Grace?

Maybe thats what that song means, a reprieve from all of that. What’s the point between extremes? Could it be in the order? Could it be seeing that ultimately order brings us to both obedience and Grace. Can we actually have both? We can if we get the right ingredients of faith and love brought about by hearing the word. If we just get the order right.

When God’s love, his Word, brings about Faith this leads to grace and obedience by faith.

SOAP 6/2

I am on vacation so don’t get too used to the frequent posts..Lol

So look at that. Here I am SOAPing again. Why? Because I had some takeaways and some application yesterday.  Today not as significant but still something.

Proverbs 1:7 NIV

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs starts off talking about how this book is written to guide, instruct, and to give wisdom.
The verse noted above stuck out to me for 2 reasons. One there are many opinions and options out there to get wisdom today, but where does it come from? Where’s the real true source? God!

Fearing Him, reverancing Him, honoring Him, knowing Him. This isn’t scared of the boogeyman type of fear. Rather, a you are God. The God who made the universe, this beautiful planet, and my intricately made body, soul, and spirit. I am so small compared to you and have taken some missteps,  yet you still love me. That’s an awe, not a I am gonna beat you kind of fear.

Because once we recognize who God is and who we are that’s a step towards wisdom. And not just that, once we recognize sin has separated us from a loving God and that he made a way to restore that relationship. Jesus! Thsts another step towards wisdom.And once we recognize Him a whole new life begins. Literally. That’s wisdom.

The second part hits me because I am not always open to advice.  Sometimes my pride gets in the way. Oh, stupid ego. You have made me a fool despising wisdom and instruction.  My anti conforming,  my I don’t need you, you don’t know me or you don’t know what you’re talking about attitude.

This sticks out to me because I have been the fool, but I didn’t realize it until I read this today. I can remember specific instances where I refused to take advice and I can’t even understand how I was blinded or hardened to not receive it. How I wish I had listened. How much better things could have gone. I hadn’t had a word for it yet. Then I read this verse. Oh what a fool was I.

My prayer Lord is that I would be open and receptive to feedback, instruction, wisdom always. Not just when things feel good or from my best friend only. Lord help me not play the fool. But receive the wisdom you are providing me through others and life situations.


So we do this thing at my church to help us read the Bible daily and have some take aways and real life application. SOAP.
S stands for scripture. O stands for observation. A stands for application. P for prayer.

I have a real hard time doing this. I mean, I pray most days and do my own customized reading.  So I often wondered why SOAP too. Is it weird for everyone to read the same thing that everyone else is? Would I be doing it just because everyone else is. Would I be conforming. (I kind of have issues with conforming due to my past. I definitely try to ensure my independence and uniqueness although being weird helps with the later…hehe)

Then our leaders were sharing how it helps us all to be in unity basically and growing in and discovering more about God and who we are in Him at the same time. So I was like ok. That makes sense and is pretty awesome too! I will give it a try!

Then I was like, since we are all reading the same thing wouldn’t it be cool to bring some more momentum around it, if someone blogged about it. Then after a day, I realized I can be that change I want to see, since I already have a blog that I hadn’t updated in forever.

I can share at least one SOAP a week. If I figure out this evernote thing and get faster at typing on my touchscreen smartphone, then maybe more.

So here’s my first SOAP blog entry and heres my SOA. Part of my P-prayer is that this encourages people from God’s word and that if you are SOAP-ing or just reading along that you share in the comments your observations, application, and even your prayers. Enjoy!

Psalm 73 Read psalm 73:1-17 (I cheated and read the whole chapter)

Observation and application
Psalm 73
What stands out to me is…73:2-3 but as for me my feet had almost slipped I nearly lost my foothold and it goes on to say that the writer was jealous of the arrogant and wicked because they seemed to have an easy life. Things looked good for them.

The writer even questions himself, have I loved for God in vain, done right and good in vain because look at all my troubles.

But then something hits the writer and it doesn’t hit him until he enters Gods presence; until he talks to God about it.

Then in that time and in that moment, he has an Aha moment, a revelation, and we read it in Psalm 73:17, then I understood their final destiny.

Final destiny. That’s not where we reside now, that’s not the current circumstances no matter how great or how hard.

Then he realized living for God wasn’t vain and in that moment his jealousy of them turned to understanding that he was right where he should be. His eyes were turned away from those who he was jealous of and back to God because he just got an eternal perspective.

Look at the end of this Psalm and we see his new perspective:

Psalm 73:28- but as for me it is good to be near God. And I believe just like my heart wants to help those whose final destiny is not with God of Gods wonderful deeds, so did the writer of this Psalm.

Because he talks about, in Psalm 73:28, of telling of God’s wonderful deeds.

Isn’t that we do when we share this eternal perspective and story of salvation, redemption, and restoration from God? Yes, because what wonderful deeds he did in making us and in saving us! But he didnt want to just save us from hell. He wants to be in a relationship with us and restore us back to our original design in our body, minds, and soul.

How?  What wonderful deeds did he do that I want to tell you about?

God created us with plans, purpose,  and destiny. We live in a world of free will and choices. Some of our own and others choices have hurt us, changed us, and even still affect us. Yet, God didn’t leave us alone with those consequences.  He sent his son Jesus to show us how to live for God and not religion. Before he left this earth, he sacrificed himself, he shed his blood to take care of all the bad choices we made and will make and restored our relationship with God.  

And although he left this earth, he still did not leave us alone. God’s holy spirit, our comforter, our counseler, our helper, Gods presence and direction available to us all the time.

What great deeds in deed! But, don’t take my word for it:

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my in most being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made

Psalm 139:16…..
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

The infamous scripture..yet never changing always true John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 14:16 NIV
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever.

John 10:10 NIV
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

My prayer is that me, you, and anyone else reading this gets a revelation, a picture of our final destiny. A destiny with God through Jesus. And that this perspective fills us so fully that we cant keep it in, but tell of his wonderful deeds.

21 day fast update: social media revolt

Ahh I think I am enjoying this fast a little too much.

No Facebook equals less drama, less anxiety, less comparing and more peace.

No tv means I have to find ways to cope with free time, down time and quiet time.

Today I drew. And I am not really an artist. Rather, an abstract artist. I drew a headless futuristic warrior, holding his own head, a skeleton face, a lovely lady, and another face.

I also used my time to get ready for an event I am participating in on Sunday.  A rally day for our life groups at church. My husband and I are going to lead a movie night at our house.

I dont know if it’s because I work from home a majority of the week or because I am fasting facebook,  and tv too, but I feel like I am back home in Ohio. I feel more relaxed, less stressed,  and with more focus. And a lot more free time, hence feeling like a kid again.

Instead of posting how I feel, or what I just did or where I am going next, and immediately forgetting about it or looking for the next thing to post, I am enjoying the moment, reveling in it, marinating in it, if you will. It’s my life and I am living it. Just me and God. I feel alive and free.

I am considering keeping this fast on facebook (except checking it once a week for messages) and tv (except for family movie nights and life groups)

Let me know what you think? And let me know if you have had the same or similar experience when you have unplugged in the comments.

I am thinking of starting a technology and social media revolt……says the blogger as she posts to all her blog followers….ironic I know.

Have a great week all !

Blogging through 2014 and through the 21 day Fast. Weekly Update

Blogging through 2014 and through the 21 day Fast. Weekly Update

2014. A new year. A new start. Goals, resolutions, and change. These are all the things I have done and started.

Bah humbug, is what my mind and my body are saying today.

1 week without TV. 3 days straight of working out. An unintentional fast. (I forgot to eat before my 530 dental filling) 1 week without Facebook.

Oh and some bumps in the road, moody people, some fears and anxiety a busy day at work.

So while waiting for 815 to eat dinner, (Which was one hour after my filling was complete. I was running late, which meant I had to share my dentist with the 6 pm appointment)- So while waiting for my opportunity to eat dinner, in my tired and hungry stupor, all that I wanted to do was watch TV to idly pass the time by.

But…I ..could not. Everything inside of me wanted to wish the 30 minutes away until I could eat.

My body was hungry. My mind was tired from a stressful workday and from being bored in the dentist office.

Yet in that very moment, I could not deal with life the way that I normally had. With what my normal coping mechanisms were. In that moment, I realized maybe I had an idea why my year had gotten so out of whack last year. Had I had many stressful work days where I came home and turned the TV on to idly pass the time by? To hurry and wish the time away?

I believe the answer is yes.

Why? To hide my fears and anxieties.

Also, I was HUNGRY. I could not think, nor did I have the energy to do anything else. So eating and watching TV, I thought, what a great combo!

That also made me wonder, how many times have I done this before that this is my go to coping, my answer.

I bet many times. I am shaking my head at myself.

I have a guess at why I was doing that. I have heard it said a few ways. From a recent sermon by Dr. David Jeremiah and I am paraphrasing someone he quoted:

Our Spirit longs for God’s spirit and when we don’t go to him with our fears and anxieties, we will begin to look for it in another ways. We will try to fill the longing of our souls with things that were never meant to free us or fulfill us. We end up rather than free, enslaved to that which we thought would free us. (addictions ranging from TV, porn, codependency, workaholisim, alcoholism, drug addiction, etc)

The way I like to put it is that we get spiritually lazy. Instead of eating healthy and working out our spirits, though prayer, reading our bible, and yes sometimes fasting, we go to “Burger King of our Souls” and have TV, food, relationships, Facebook, etc.

We go for fries instead of carrots. We go for fried food instead of fresh, healthy food.

Now I see clearly why I was so out of shape spiritually last year.

But what about this year? What about the 8 short days we have had? What about all of my Bah and humbug.

Through the heart to hearts that my Aunt has had with me, about my fears and anxieties. These heart to hearts, that have encouraged me to go to God first instead of fear, to be still before him, to trust Him, to live for Him, to live with nothing to hide, nothing to prove, nothing to gain, nothing to lose, and so much more. Through these talks, which have pierced my heart to give my life, my heart, my fears, my anxieties, and my gifts to Him, I have rededicated my life to God.

In doing so, so far, in these 8 past days, I have not only changed my spiritual diet, but have spiritually exercised.

Going from fast food, from TV, from facebook, from relationships to Christian Music, Christian sermons, daily prayer and bible time. I feel healthier. I know I have a long way to go. But God is not far away from anyone who wants Him. I now see it was not God that was hiding or who had turned away, but me. He was right there and is right here the whole time.

Through that today, although the body, the mind, the outside forces, caused me to cry- Bah Humbug, food, TV, this can’t be happening to me !! To feel a certain way, God’s spirit sustained me. His spirit inside of me.

I could feel His presence, have his Word tucked in my heart (some Rama, Sword of the Spirit), and hear that still small voice, saying , Be Still.

So Bah Humbug and Thanks be to God for sustaining me through the rocky places today.

Freedom 2014

2014 is finally here and I am finally sitting here writing a blog again. It has been quite a long time. Ahh too long of a time since I sat down to share my thoughts, my rhymes, and my time with you and anyone who might be listening.

2013 started quite rough for me. The way I like to describe it is that I stumbled into 2013. I stumbled, I fell, split my head open, had a few scrapes a bruises and spent a lot of time trying to figure out how it all happened. It’s funny because that is exactly how I feel that I ended 2013. But at least I ended it in the time trying to figure out how it all happened, because that gave me some time to reflect on how I want to live my life going forward– New Year or not, I wanted a fresh start.

So here I am, writing. Why? Because when I write, I live. I think, I process, it is my therapy and I believe, for some reason, that it is one of the reasons I am alive and here on this great planet earth.

I have quite a list of other resolutions that I have made for 2014. These include being consistent in exercising, eating right, finishing my novels, including the one from NaNoWriMo, which unfortunately, I did not finish. Also, I am challenging myself to balance work with non-work AKA real life or as some call it life. But life, unlike work can’t just be one category. No life entails taking care of body, mind, and spirit. It is not just eating right and exercising. It is not just reading a good book, enjoying a movie, music, or NPR radio. (some of you chuckled at the last one, I know) It is not just spending time with friends and family. It is not just about praying, reading the Bible, and definitely not just about going to Church or nurturing and growing your talents, gifts, and abilities. Wow’ that’s a lot of stuff, and it is not just about one. It is about finding our priorities and balancing, at least for me all of the above.

Last year, I feel like I faded in and out of zombie living, just getting up and going with whatever happened that day. Going to bed whenever, getting up at the last minute, eating whatever I wanted, working too many hours, watching too much TV, which left me wanting in the areas of time, energy, and health. I wanted to get up earlier, but did want to go to bed earlier. I wanted to lose weight, but I did not want to watch what I ate or exercise regularly. (Plus I had an ankle injury that required physical therapy at 7 am some days, or left me stuck in traffic. Plus’ I could not exercise the way I wanted because of it. Let’s face it. I had a bad attitude) I wanted to have time to read books, write books, write music, and play in a band, but I did not want to come home from a hard day of working too many hours and do more “work” at a computer, so I took the easy way out and watched TV.

I did have some waxing and waning over the year. I exercised for 1-2 months at a time regularly. But definitely not watching what I ate. The only real positive thing I did was join weight watchers in October. I lost 13 pounds and counting!

In the fall, a lot of things started crashing down on me. I took a different role at work that initially would be less stressful, but would become more stressful with more hours as the project progressed. (Oh yeah, I took the easy way out- not too surprising given my above noted choices). A relationship with a mentor of mine started falling apart and looking back, I never really processed it. But as she began to criticize me from a distance, (long story), I took it really personal. At the same time, the project I was working on became really stressful with a lot of accusations among the personell, some at me, and again I took it really personal. And I kept all these things pretty much to myself and my husband, what a trooper. Then’ the above noted got worse and I was working 10-12 hours a day. Then I applied for a position in another department, at the last minute because it was a great position, but one that rarely came open. However, as I applied at the last minute, I had less than one day to prepare for the interview. It did not go as good as it could have gone.

All this came to a head. All these things had me all anxious and emotional. I realized that I was a mess, my emotions were all intertwined and mixed with work, people, what they did, what they thought. They were mixed in with how I did, how I could have done better. I was upset, I was done and I was telling God all about it. But I realized something, I had not asked God to take it or really given him the situation.

Sure I came to him and told him how it should end. That I was done, I did not want to do that project anymore, how I was wronged and so I should get a way out. Plus, he knew what I can handle. He would never give me more.

That’s when God spoke to me through someone at work. (someone not involved in the situation) She said, you got that scripture wrong. God ALWAYS gives you more that you can handle………by yourself. He gives you what you can handle with him and his help.

And Oh, I thought she was wrong. I looked up the scripture and said…OH. God said he would never let us be TEMPTed beyond what we could handle. Oh man, she was right. Then I thought of Paul and how he asked for God to remove the thorn from his flesh. Whether it really was a thorn, or his vision, or the Judiazers, who knows, but what God says to him is still true today, 2 Corinthians 12:9

My Grace is sufficient for you. For in your weakness, my power is made perfect.

Oh I see. I get it now.

Yet, I feel God wanted and needed to make it more clear to me. You see over, working played a toll on my personal life, including my
daily time with God. I had not prayed outside of my daily car ride in a while. I had not dug deep into the Word in a while. Yet everytime, I begged God, like Paul to take it away from me, he showed me a vision. Me in my office, prostrate before him. He was showing me that I needed to close the door to my closet and just come to Him. Yet I delayed that for a few days. Until….I was at my breaking point one day. I happened to call my Aunt on my commute home and we got to talking. I brought up the project and the issues.

Once I laid it bare, she spoke right to me about my emotions, anxiety, and fears, but mostly she spoke about how God is in control, in Him we need not worry, in Him we are seated with Christ Jesus, In Him we don’t have to worry about what people think, In Him there is freedom. She also spoke to me about 2 other things that have become my motto for 2014 and forward. They really spoke to me and broke down chains of fear, anxiety and gave me freedom to live, to work, and to serve Him new and fresh.

One spoke to my fear and anxiety with people and the rat race that work can become:

We should live life as if we have:
Nothing to gain
Nothing to lose
Nothing to hide
Nothing to prove

The other talks about how we serve God, and in some ways we “enslave” ourselves to Him, because we love Him and want to serve Him, but in doing this we are free-

Enslave yourself to the compass and you will have the freedom of the Seas
Enslave yourself to God (his guidance, his direction) and you have freedom to live, to love, to work, to do whatever God has put in you to do.

Ok, so there was a third, She said God doesn’t care what you do for a living. He doesn’t care, but he does care, what you do with the calling he has given you. So what is that and what are you doing with it?

Oh man, I was in tears. I knew it and I have known it since I was in junior high when I wrote my first poems and my first novel- which somewhere along the way I threw away. I should be writing. I should be writing at least novels.

A deep sigh, a good bye, and some quiet time with God later. I was free to live, to love, to serve.

So I share this intimate story to say that 2013 was rough. Yes, I hit some rough waters, some deep waters. I think I even capsized and did not even realize. But, I found my compass again, and my sails are up. I have the freedom of the seas because my compass will keep me on track. Thank you God for your guidance.

To all, I want to wish you a wonderful 2014. Happy New Year. I know it is just another day. Yet, I don’t think any day is just a day anymore. Not with God by my side. Not with purpose and destiny given by him. Not with people to encourage, smiles to be given, and life to be liven.

Blessings. I look forward to writing weekly blogs this year. I will be sharing my journey living life renewed and enslaved to the compass, living my calling, and living life with nothing to lose, to gain, to hide, or to prove.

NaNoWriMo 2013: Want to Write a Novel?

For all my followers, I have gotten off the writing train for some time, but I will be undertaking this challenge! I am nervous and excited and stressed and can’t wait to start. I have too many ideas, but I am just going towing it and see where it goes. I encourage anyone else who has ever wanted to write a novel to take a chance and give it a try!

The Blog

It’s just a few days until November, and you know what that means: National Novel Writing Month, better known ’round these parts as NaNoWriMo, is near.

Have you always wanted to write a novel?

We know some of you have been waiting all year for this month! For those of you who are new to this project, here’s the gist:

View original post 894 more words

15 minute poetry: take 2

so busy entertaining

while I sat here aging

so worried about being too serious

that I forgot take life seriously

too light hearted

took the value right out of everything

a way to cope

I didn’t feel like I valued to anyone, to anything

nothing was worth it

fighting the system that made it

that made anything important

fighting against that which I did not understand

but respect is respect     

even when we don’t value the system

we value those that are within

within the matrix

but it is hard to value anything when you don’t feel like you are worth anything

so that was the problem

it wasn’t them

it was me

I couldn’t value them or their system until I valued me

now given eyes to see

eyes to see that

that I am worth much

at times I am blinded

but I am reminded that

God loved so much

that he sent His only Son

and at that, it is enough

I am made whole again


15 minute poetry

Its not just what I see in the mirror
Its not just the words I say and hear
Its my heart displayed for me to see
Heart Out
Messy dripping wet
Yes my heart on my sleeve
But this introspection is for me
Not the masses not the crowds
I need to see who I am
Where I am from
Where I am going

And once again I open that book
The holy one
Written by my maker my friend
Helps me to see
This life is more than just about me
More than just about a job or security
More than just things had or said
Its about the one who made this earth and gave us life
So I have to ask myself am I doing what I can with this gift  of life I have been given
Now that’s the reflection, the question I fear
For I know I have missed the mark

But see there’s one more thing
As I remember life not being about me

Jesus took care of all of that
That one day on the cross
He just asks us to believe in Him

And That book that was written full of his Words and wisdom
Teaches me how to live

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